Throwback: Our first-ever dinner in Italy (in 2006)

We recently had a plate of seafood pasta, which reminded us of our first-ever meal in Italy, on our honeymoon, which was was a TOTAL NIGHTMARE. (The meal, not the honeymoon.) Not exactly a Little Roads experience...

We were in Rome, and we "winged it" and found a small restaurant in the Trastevere, which I knew was considered the most residential/authentic part of Rome.

We were very jet lagged and tried to get an early dinner - 7:30pm, whcih is early by Italian standards. We asked for a table for two and we were seated - which incited a big argument between two of the staff. Our Italian was pretty minimal at this point, but it was clear that us being there was a big problem. So we offer to leave, and they said "No, no, of course, stay…" and then they proceeded to argue about us being there for another few minutes. Fun!

We ordered some sparkling water and wine, and we were very thirsty since it was a hot day. But apparently we chose the wrong glass to pour the water into, because the waiter came over, saw the glasses, muttered something derisive under his breath, took the water away… and he Never Came Back. We imagined that the waiter went to the kitchen, tossed down the glasses in discgust, and quit on the spot, yelling "I can't work under these conditions!!"

We soldiered on with a new cameriere. I ordered a dish of fried mozzarella, and I took a chance on another dish that I wasn’t really familiar with, telling Matt "How bad can it be?"

And it turned out to be a little dish of spicy tomato sauce with 6 whole octopus in it.

Now, I would not eat an octopus if I was on fire and it was the only way to get water, so it was up to Matt. I might have cried about it a little.

Matt had never been in Italy before, but I had; and in preparation for the trip I told him a few things about eating there, including that there were no doggy bags for big meals, and that the chef and owner usually really care if you eat all of your dish.

So he felt compelled to eat them all. He ate all the legs, and 2 of the heads. Then he looked at me and said "Honey, I can't eat any more of this. I just can't. I feel like I ate a whole racquetball." So he sent the rest of the plate back.

They were of course unhappy that we hadn't finished the plate. About two minutes later they delivered two HUGE plates of pasta to the table. We were both pretty stressed at this point, and could not imagine eating this much, especially under those circumstances. When they put the plates on the table it felt like they dropped a cinder block in front of each of us.

We did our best to eat as much as we could, but every time I would take a bite it felt like two more appeared. It was like the food version of the tribble episode in the original Star Trek.

As we slowed down, first the waiter asked if we were unhappy, and we said no, just full. But that didn't seem to appease him, because next the chef came out to ask us whey we didn't eat it all. And finally, the owner!!

We were, at this point, absolutely desperate to get the hell out of there. We paid the bill and went out in to the street, finally breathing free that we were out of this stressful and awkward situation. About two blocks away, I turned to Matt and said "Hey, didn't you have a hat?"

And I watched him just deflate like a fully inflated bagpipe that took a bullet, as he turned around and ambled back to the restaurant to go retrieve his hat.

Note: I still don't know why everyone behaved as they did; we have never experienced anything like this, before or since.

Another Note: Upon returning home, I told a friend this story, and she said "Um....didn't you know that octopus heads are inedible? Everyone just cuts them off and only eats the legs."

Well, NOW we know.